The Freedom to Love Freely

What a blessing
to love freely

without the need for approval     without fear of social conventions     without hesitation
without the tightness and energy used     to hold ourselves back

from loving freely    unconditionally    in each moment    of every day    that we have left

What a blessing
to love freely

with the ease of openness of heart     faith in ourselves     in others     in humanity
in all gestures of kindness     all activations of generosity     community     and loving

What would happen
if we all let go to love freely?

openly     easefully     learning

to-breath-in-and-birth     LOVE

without reservation     without judgement     without the constriction of fear
without the expectation of loss     or return

What would happen if we all felt so loved
so accepted for exactly who we are
right now?

no fixing required     no adjustments     no aims for illusive perfection
or waiting until we’re ready to love     or be deserving of loving

What if we all loved freely?

we simply gave into our natural propensities
to be loved     and to love
with all of who we are     with every living being     on this beautiful living Earth

What if we all loved ourselves freely into a renewed world?

Never Stop

Yes, I am only one person
but I consider the impact of my thinking, feelings and actions
no matter how tiny my contributions may be
no matter how small I feel some days
or for how many

My tiny drops in the bucket of common good, consciousness
community and connectivity
cause ripples, they have impact
I can deny this or embrace the possibilities
seen and unseen

In the interweave of micro and macrocosms of life and living
I reflect on my response-abilities to love, justice and freedom
I believe that my attunement and consideration
should never be selective
and never in the face of the suffering of others

I will never stop
speaking out about occupations, genocide, apartheid
and I refuse to stop naming them accordingly
whether on Turtle Island
or beyond

I will never stop
expanding my heart, reflectivity and empathy
in the service of just peace—geopolitical, social
and sacred well-being

I will never stop
speaking and writing about the inhumanities
that have continued for decades
still active and sanctioned by imperial agendas
sociopathic complicity
multiplicities of monetary and other supports
confiscation of land and resources
collectively in the trillions

I will never stop
I will not relinquish my agency
nor my part in collective accountability to Palestinians
and what little is left
of Palestine

I will never stop
no matter the fearmongering
what names I am called
or how I am told or threatened:
That I ought to or “[I’D] BETTER SHUT [MY] MOUTH”

I WILL NOT

In reverent memory and celebration of Sto:lo Si’Yam Lee Maracle
July 2, 1950 - November 11, 2021

Catching Fire

We are ruminating with fullness
this day and night
an array of feelings flicker and cascade
in a blaze of reverence
memory served and yearning for more of her

We are awake in our remembering back and dreaming onward
with chasmic awe
and loss

Yet another visionary soul has crossed over
and in a time when we need all of our insurgent kin
from communities all over the world
to light and forge re-membered paths
toward living wisdoms and harmonic interdependence

In memory of this audacious and creative spirit
we reminisce whole-heartedly
celebrating her vital life-force, creative works, activism and stories

We light a fire
listen and read from her visions
reflecting on the knowledge she gathered and carried from the ages
a continuum of living, being and learning with cognizance

We acknowledge her ancestors and living presence
fused

We sing and dance in her honour
with rebellious gratitude and enraptured joy
until only embers remain

We will not censor our tears nor our reverence
for this revolutionary soul

We will continue to carry flames with others
lighting and converging for change
catching fire toward revolution

for Lee

The Boom that Changes Everything

Sometimes, it takes quakes, cracks
sinkholes
a booming collapse within
all the tiny and blaring inconsistencies
incongruence, untruths, suffering
add up, clamouring
a crystal clear protest

Sometimes, we finally come to
a do or die so loud
we make a gut-wrenching choice
no matter how glimmering with hope
or despondent from long-term down-pressing

Sometimes, when the boom becomes loud enough
we make a choice toward resolute change

It came to a point
where I had to let go
because holding on
created such spin, such confusion
felt like flesh of my spirit ripping away
from years of angst, sorrow
promise deflated
trying to hold on
to you, to us, to the idea of family

just like you taught me

Long before I knew what gaslighting was
I dreamt of truth and reconciliation
I dreamt of freeing ourselves
I dreamt of freeing myself

I dreamt that one day I would walk away
if we couldn’t attune and atone

decades later, I finally did

What I acknowledge now
that I couldn’t come to terms with prior:
It’s OK, and sometimes downright prudent
to walk away from someone you love
no matter how deeply

It doesn’t matter that it took me this long
to fully admit
to realize the toll
how unfortunate it was, how deeply sad, twisted, wounding

how difficult it was and sometimes still is
to recover
an accurate and loving sense of self
from the distortions, the untruths
I was imprinted with from birth
to distinguish
the reality of who I am
from the dynamics I was reared into
and became a part of

I used to tell myself quite convincingly
that it was all in my head, it was all me

just like you taught me

I felt the untruth of this, the unfairness
but I chose to eat my suffering
began to hate myself
denied my knowing
to keep us together
until that suffering began to devour
me

I used to think that truth and reconciliation
always required two parties
but interpersonally, this no longer feels true to me
and I am thankful for this

Instigators and perpetrators, great or small in number
rarely reveal themselves, the wounds and/or dominion they carry
nor their connection to continuities of pain
they are not born, they are made
and some never recover, confess
nor make amends
and the cycle continues

Now that I no longer seek to reconcile
nor integrate or live anyone’s truth but my own
I have set a new course for myself

I can already feel the rejoice
awakening, permeating my insides
imbuing the ether
transmuting, transmitting

Today, I live in the clear light of convergence
reflection and clarity
compassion and forgiveness
healing and freedom

I am learning to love myself
more and more each day
and as imperfectly perfect as I am
I do my utmost
to share this loving everywhere I go

and it feels so good.

:)

Dedicated to those who do not survive the struggle toward transmuting suffering, for those who are still eating their suffering and for those that now live in the possibilities of flourishing, transforming intergenerational trauma, disconnection and colonial -isms.

Of the Earth

I stand still, silent
in this forest, attuning
and I feel this forest
attune with me
the smells, sounds and presence
living awareness flourishing

I feel an urge
I take my shoes off
and then my socks

I caress the Earth
with my skin
toes, arches, heels
attentively digging deep, into the aliveness
of soil, twigs, rocks, seeds, needles, leaves, mycelium

I feel the union
between life and death
I feel the forest breathing, communicating, composting
always giving birth

I gently lay my hands
upon an elder cedar
leaning my body
against the touch of soft-skinned bark

beneath my feet
I feel a stir, a tingling
surging upward, entering me
cascading throughout my body
a wave of recognition
of connection

feels like sublime communion
sounds like earthing vespers
smells like a majestic living vapour
all converging invitingly
permeating
all of my senses
quenching and reviving
my life force
my cells
whispering wise secrets
into my heart

I breathe in deeply
feeling everything
my love for this living Earth
blissful rapture
ancient teachings of beauty, collaborative balance
creative intelligence

my angst and sorrow rise
to my awareness
for all that has already been taken
ripped from the body of Earth
without regard, without reverence
I weep, unconsolably
embraced by Earth spirits

I breathe in deeply, again
and as I breathe out
my sorrow releases

in this moment
I feel the pulse of oneness
of which, I am a mere part
I feel so small, nanoscopic
and yet palpably vast
I expand, almost disappearing
no longer feeling where my body ends
or the body of trees, brush and Earth begin
and with an energetic waft
I am so generously reminded

I belong to the Earth
I belong to the Earth

I
belong
to the Earth

and may I never lose my way
thinking, uttering nor behaving
as if the Earth or any other being
belong to me

Not an Angry Poem

Now if this sounds angry
you’re not spot on

I’m not angry
well, not in this moment
but I am
SICK and TIRED

sick and tired
of being called angry or aggressive
for telling my truth
telling it like it is, for me
not for anyone else

What the BLEEP is going on?
Is it contagious?

How sad that people who claim to care
claim to be friends, allies
can’t handle it
just don’t wanna make space
for others to simply be themselves

The truth hurts?
Why are people so afraid of the truth?
so afraid to hear truths
that don’t match their own?

and it doesn’t seem to matter
how lovingly you tell it
how you phrase it
or how unthreatening you try to be

Some folx
are simply allergic
to truth
the truth about themselves
the truths of others
and what those truths may reveal

Sweets

I am embedded in hues of blues, purples, and greens of sky
I am dreaming myself awake
filled with illumination
I gather my visions
to spread across the soil that is my life’s journey

I can see my footprints
I can see theirs—ahead, behind and beside me
embedded in deep browns, oranges, and reds of Earth

I am dreaming myself awake
carrying the stars that light the sky
as they tell me secrets of love, being alive, and creation

I am hearing the dripping of gold from their tongues
the sweetness of spirit sounds whispering
I am packing their generosity into shells from the sea
I will carry them with me to share

For my Ancestors


The poem, “Sweets,” with audio file is added here upon request from a reader/listener. It is a reprint from Uninhabiting the Violence of Silencing: activations of creativity, ethics and resistance. To view this title go to Books on this website.